There are some people in this world that everyone seems to love and whenever you hear someone speak out against them it causes a huge hullabaloo. Well, you know what? It’s time for some unpopular opinions: Zooey Deschanel is incredibly, unbearably, unbelievably, boring. Sure she has big eyes and is always playing the weird, “quirky” girl who is supposed to be desirable by every fuck stick in the movie, but really, could she be any more vapid while doing it? I have never watched a single thing with Zooey in it and thought, “Wow, what a complex character with depth. She’s like a real person!” All I have ever thought is, “Dear God, when will it end!?”
From her incredibly monotonous voice to her lack of expression in her face it’s hard to be captivated by this “ingénue”. Some people even think of her as a sex symbol, but really, can you imagine having sex with that doe eyed bimbo? She’d probably just stare at you with her over-sized eyes and say something “weird” and the whole thing would be awkward and shameful. It freaks me out just trying to imagine that. Maybe that’s why things didn’t work out for her and the slightly less boring guy from Death Cab for Cutie.
My hatred of Deschanel may seem irrational to some, but I dare you to watch her movies back to back and not be flat out bored by her performance. She isn’t an “it” girl; she’s a blank wall. And if you would fuck a blank wall, well, I guess you would fuck just about anything. I prefer women who show emotion, like, I don’t know, smiling every once in a while or having influx in their voice instead of just making their eyes super big and looking at me like they might have something to say when really their brain is as blank as their face. It might not be everyone’s opinion, but I swear if I never had to see her face in anything again my world would be much better for it. Maybe then we could have actresses who maybe, I don’t know, actually act? Wouldn’t that be something?