Is Niki Minaj an alien?

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Bubblegum pink hair, bright purple lips, and the widest, creepiest alien eyes you have ever seen; how the hell could anyone think Niki Minaj is remotely sexy? Sure the girl has a huge ass, but that’s about it. She is an a-typical butterface and to top it off, she doesn’t even have the talent she should.

Have you ever listened to a Niki Minaj song? In almost every single verse she repeats words and phrases over and over again to cover up the fact that she is not a very good lyricist. She hops on one or two key phrases most of which revolve around how amazing she is, but because she isn’t very amazing they all fall flat and repeating herself over and over again doesn’t fix that one bit.

The only reason Minaj is famous to begin with is someone decided she was hot enough to fuck and had to cut her a deal on the side. Her “party rock anthems” are all vapid pop songs disguised as rap music and were all clearly written by someone who reduces the millennial generation down to a bunch of fuck off party kids who don’t pay their rent. I’m sorry, how is that appealing? I’m all for having a good time and partying till the cows come home, but for the love of god don’t make me do it with Niki Minaj or to Niki Minaj, because it will be the most superficial party ever.

She’s as empty in her eyes as she is in her lyrics, and her compulsive style changes of every, and any color of the rainbow make me want to vomit up my skittles. Seriously, whoever lets that woman walk out of the house in those bizzarre outfits really isn’t doing anyone a favor, unless the intention is for Minaj to look like shit, in which case they are doing a bang up fucking job.

Maybe I’m just a hater, but I honestly can’t see the value in Niki Minaj or her music, and can’t wait until she silently fades into the past with all of the other ugly wannabes of the last few years. What happened to all of the good pop stars?

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Andy Fuckface

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